Stormy weather

I literally haven't stepped outside since Friday morning. Just looking out my window is enough for me right now. Ziva and I stayed in our pajamas all day, and she's been so cuddly! Nap time was wonderful- 1 pm-4:30 pm, and I was actually sleeping for most of it too! When we went to America, I bought the cutest snowflake pajama pants. I totally associate this season with some kind of winter wonderland, not this stormy and windy weather. It's a little weird not to have 5 feet of snow outside my door, car doors iced shut and clouds of breath filling the air. Snow is enchanting. It's like a sweet blanket of beauty, well at least from the inside, sitting by the fire and drinking hot cocoa.

There is something a little gloomy about these past couple days besides the weather. It has been one test after another of my strength. I'm not going to break down. I'm not going to break down.

It actually reminds me of this time in Tzfat that I went to a massage therapist. She was Russian, and only spoke Russian and Hebrew. Yehoshua came along to translate, and we were both shocked by the inspiring words she spoke. Firstly, she told me that by looking at my feet she could tell that I was an extremely sensitive and spiritual person. I am highly affected and aware of experiences that happen in my life. She also said that I hold a lot of tension in my shoulders and neck which can mean that if someone says or does something that I don't think is right, I am overly bothered by it. I completely resonated with the things she said about me. Then she began to explain to us what she had learned about perspective, "There are only two things in this world. Creator and the created. If you are the created, then EVERYTHING else is the Creator. If your neighbor does something bad to you, then G-d is trying to teach you something. There's no reason to get angry or upset, you should only take that opportunity to fix a character trait within yourself."

I really try to think that way, and it was nice to have her there to remind me during a time that was stressful. I'm happy that I thought of it now because it's so important to step back and look at the whole situation. Even still, I can't help but wonder why am I so darn sensitive? Why did G-d give me this trait? How can I use it to the best of my ability without letting it get me down? Today someone said something offensive to me, and I literally laid on Shua's shoulder and cried. Maybe it's post-partum hormonal stuff, but I'm pretty sure I've always been this way. It's hard to understand that everything is good, all the time. I saw this on Rabbi Manis Friedman's Facebook status the other day, "Darkness cannot be swept away with a broom. In order to abolish darkness, one must bring forth light by increasing in knowledge of holy things. Learn more and you will understand on a greater level."

So I guess I should learn more. And hopefully, the sun will come out tomorrow! :)