Finding balance

I can't believe the summer is nearing an end- or I guess if I was in Minnesota, it would already be ended! It's been a good summer, but it has hardly felt like the vacation that we all look forward to when we're young. It's regular life, waking up at 7 in the morning and doing the motherly routine until 8 at night. I've been realizing how challenging it is to be a stay at home mother for an enthusiastic, curious, ever-changing toddler. One of the best things about being home with her is that I am able to see and appreciate every aspect of her blossoming personality and developments. So many times, Shua says, "Amazing, look at what Ziva can do!" and I go "Yeah, I know, she's been doing that for a couple days now." It's a comforting feeling to be that person for her.

Not to take away from the fact that it can be SUPER challenging at times. From sunlight to sunset, to be the one that is solely responsible for their learning, stimulation, meals, snacks, diapers, baths, appointments, play dates, exercise...along with housework on top of housework, can take a lot from you physically and emotionally. (Of course I'm not the only parent, my husband is incredibly helpful but he is at work at least 10 hours a day.) I think that for some mothers it is easier than for others. I'm not afraid to admit that sometimes it's hard for me, and I'll be daydreaming about full body massages and laying on the beach with a glass of wine in hand.

Some people laugh at this "What do you mean? You only have one kid! Just wait..." and other people say that the first child is always the hardest to adjust to. I'm just going to go with the flow, do my best and see how it goes. When it comes down it, there is no greater joy in being a parent, I just know it. Most of the day, my heart feels so full that I'm bursting with love. It's worth it beyond a shadow of a doubt.

Sunday was her first day of daycare. We decided to send her two mornings a week- to give her a new environment, other babes to play with and also time for me to get things accomplished. It's really wonderful because it's a small group of kids, so they get the attention they need. I'm hoping that it will be great place for her to learn and grow beyond what I can give her. I wasn't with her for the day, but she didn't cry at all when I left and when I came back she greeted me with tired, open arms. I'll take that as a good sign!

It was a little weird not having her in my care- I've only left her a few times since she's been born! As weird as it felt, it also felt amazing to have my space. I did some light housework, relaxed, visited a friend and even ate normally. I was so giddy, I felt like a teenager again as I picked up candy from the grocery store on the way home. My friend, Chaya, told me that I was like a different person! I could relax knowing that Ziva was in good hands, and JUST across the street from where we live. I now totally understand how important it is for mothers to take personal time- for sanity and to take care of ourselves. I'm only 22 years old, and I'm not about to let myself to become stressed and frumpy. For my husband, my baby and FOR ME.

I'm excited for this coming year, especially with my new-found appreciation for a healthy balance.