Baby!

I haven't really wanted to blog anything for the past three months. Just to be honest. My life seemed a little too all over the place to write anything about it. I completely lacked focus, energy, motivation, social skills. Ladies, what does this sound like to you? You guessed it!

We're expecting baby #2!!! We're both really really excited and so thankful. "No, no, Grandpa...we were planning for this...Yeah, we know it's okay..." Despite all American cultural norms, I'll have two beautiful children at the age of 22, and it wasn't because of a couple nights I didn't remember or a dead-beat boyfriend who isn't going to pay child support. I am in love with the idea that we are so young, and together, we are helping to create little beams of light in this world. It's just so awesome, I feel so fulfilled, so secure, so loved and loving and motherly. I can't wait to wrap that tiny little newborn in my arms and marvel over its' unbelievably sweet features. Such a blessing. Everyday Ziva reminds me what a blessing she is, and what a blessing all children are.

We just went to get an ultrasound, which was a bit late since we were in the U.S. for a month. Apparently, I'm a week later than I thought. Which puts me now at about 26 weeks, and due in mid-March. I should've known from the crazy amount of movement in my womb, that this baby is REAL, but there's nothing like seeing that detailed ultrasound for the first time. "Here's the hand, here's the other hand, here's the feet..." While Shua was trying to calm Ziva down (I guess she didn't like the dark room or the strange woman putting gel all over my belly or a combination of both), I was happy crying. It was such a reality check that we were both no longer able to focus on something so simple as this ultrasound. This isn't our first child, it's our SECOND. Everything we're able to give is different now. So as much as I wish Shua could've sat there to hold my hand, and gasp over every limb that was shown, I smiled at the thought of Ziva becoming a big sister. It's a great feeling.

Pregnancy is not ALL fun, believe me. Most of it isn't fun at all. My first trimester wasn't as bad as my first pregnancy- which had held me captive in our bedroom watching every episode of 24 in just a few days, throwing up everything I ate and asking Shua to brush his teeth four times a day. This time, it was actually pretty GOOD! I thought I was over the worst part, but then my second trimester came, and I was extremely lethargic, achy and nauseous. I'm not sure if it was the traveling to America that really affected me, but for more than half of the trip, I felt completely incapable of functioning normally. I always wonder how pregnant women have full-time careers! This, my friends, can definitely be a full-time job...so if you're doing anything else, you are working over-time. In addition, more so than any other time in my life, I am an emotional roller coaster. One minute- I'm happy and dancing all over the place, the next I'm stressed and can't move from bed, the next I'm cleaning the insignificant details of my kitchen...it's a party every day over here. I'm not afraid to admit that because I've seen other pregnant women, and it seems like they are going through pretty similar things.

So now it's officially blogged. We're having a baby! Be'ezrat Hashem, bli ayin hora...and all that good stuff. Do I even believe in ayin hora?